Kalle Rovanperä looks down at his arm and grimaces. It wasn’t really, was it? For once, the driver wasn’t remotely close to the sweet spot.
The inside of the reigning World Rally dhampion’s left arm reads “Full Send!” The ball tells a different story. It’s a good 30 or 40 meters short of where it was supposed to be. And it’s in the rough. And that, I’m told, is a bad thing.
He catches me smiling and starts to laugh.
“Now watch this guy,” he says, nodding at his co-driver Jonne Halttunen.
Best in the world with a pacenote book in his hand, Jonne adjusts his fancy sunglasses, pats his wide-brimmed straw sunhat onto his head and goes straight in. No practice swing, just one almighty clout and ‘ching’ as metal (which is oddly still called ‘wood’) connects with ball in precisely the way the golfing Gods intended.
“Oh, for f…” Rovanperä stares with a look of frustrated disgust on his face. It’s not helping that Jonne is dancing his way back to his bag.
“He has more time than me for this,” is the Rovanperä response. “He’s been on the golf course a lot and, anyway, it doesn’t matter. I’m better at everything else!”
Still dancing, Jonne makes for the golf buggies driving seat.
“Don’t even think about it…”
Everybody’s laughing.
Welcome to Rae Parish, Harju County in Estonia’s north and Tallinn’s south.
Elsewhere in the world of rallying, the talk is all about how many hard Pirellis are enough to carry a car across some of the season’s roughest roads at round 10. As Greece bakes, Rovanperä chills.
“I really like these events,” he says. “This is supposed to be a day at work, but how can you call this work? Maybe we shouldn’t say that – we need them to think this is work!”
Too late. But he’s got a point.
Rovanperä (far right) is enjoying his more relaxed schedule this year
This is the Sami Välimäki Unibet Invitational. And DirtFish is invited. It’s quickly obvious that DirtFish hasn’t picked up a golf club since a heavy loss on the shores of Loch Lomond, Scotland at the Cameron Crazy Golf House Classic. Our role is reduced to that of commentator and agitator.
By the ninth hole the boys have settled in a little bit. Shoulders are looser and the round is going well. With the pin for this one seeming to be somewhere over the horizon, Jonne is winding up a big number one wood smash. He connects.
“Ooooh, shot Jonne!” shouts Kalle. “That’s really good shot. That’s going to be on the green.”
Pause.
“It’s in the bunker. F***. But it’s a good bunker.”
Next hole and the boys are parading some sort of distance binocular kit which tells them exactly where the ball has to go.
“Look at Jonne with that thing,” smiles Kalle. “He looks like the professional…” There’s a grin and a wink from his co-driver. Rovanperä: “Like I told you mate, as long as you look like a pro, that’s [the] only thing that matters!”
Our team is s*** at golf. But we will have a lot of fun and, of course, there’s some betting going on…Kalle Rovanperä
Välimäki is a mate of Kalle and Jonne. He’s also a golfing legend, a PGA Tour regular who’s using today as his preparation for chasing his chunk of a €6m purse at the Irish Open later in September.
“Everything we do with Unibet is cool,” said Rovanperä. “Today we have a team with me, Jonne, Miro [Rousku, Kalle’s mate and partnership manager] and Arttu [Hanhinen, again, mate of Kalle’s and the guy who runs his schedule]. We’re playing against some other teams for the Unibet prize. There are some old guys from hockey, some football people and Häkkinen’s here; Mika is playing as well. It’s a good day.”
Kalle and Mika know each other well. And then there’s David. Remember this? This was when former McLaren team-mates Häkkinen and Coulthard joined KR aboard Toyota #69 for a sunny run in Sardinia.
“That’s the sort of thing we do with Unibet. The trips are always super-fun.”
And the golf? Are they going to win?
“No,” said Rovanperä, starting to laugh at thought of another victory. “Our team is s*** at golf. But we will have a lot of fun and, of course, there’s some betting going on…”
Rovanperä is fully indulging himself in other passions alongside rallying this year
That much is obvious from the moment you see Rovanperä sporting the Sami Välimäki Unibet polo shirt, looking like a member of the US Ryder Cup when America went with one of its wilder, louder kit designs.
As the golf progresses, Rovanperä’s hand-eye co-ordination is obvious as is his commitment to enjoying the day. And when the time comes to put the clubs away, he gets the chance to indulge in another passion of his: smokin’ sideways. With the Rae clubhouse a reasonable distance away, the golf buggy is parked and a Red Bull-liveried Toyota Supra with hundreds of horsepower is fired up.
With a slightly bigger grin, Kalle lights her up and, to probably the biggest cheer of the day, engulfs the Sami Välimäki Unibet Invitational in a cloud of burned rubber.
Halttunen’s work is done.
“Kalle’s time to play now,” he said. “I can’t help him with this. Maybe it’s time for some refreshments…”
And Rovanperä plays hard, like he has all year. Hitting golf balls, drifting cars, driving buggies and enjoying Unibet’s hospitality, in the late summer sunshine in Estonia, Lamia, round 10 and the fierce fight for the right to succeed Rovanperä feels a world away.
“I don’t think about it so much now,” says the champ, on the smoke’s cleared. “I’m quite happy with that – it’s what this year is about. The chance to do some different things. Time for a ride?”
Moments later, the Supra’s on its lock stops, we’re at the most ridiculous angle I’ve ever been in in a car. Forget the side window, I’m on the verge of using the rear-view mirror to see where we’re headed. The noise is nuts, the smoke is insane and the laughter totally infectious.
Did the team win the Sami Välimäki Unibet Invitational? No. Did they have fun? Er, yeah.
Great day. Big thanks to Unibet and a grande kiitos to Kalle, Jonne, Miro and Arttu.
