This isn’t happening. You’re not reading this. You can’t be… because I’m definitely not writing another piece about Moll’s Gap.
And that plan remained firmly in place until we turned the DirtFish rental car south out of Killarney on the N71. Along the road past Muckross Lake, the church and waterfall, underneath the famous arch and a quick stop at Ladies View. It’s a phenomenal place. Always.
But today it’s a little bit more special. Summer’s firmly in the rear view mirror – technically this is fall’s penultimate day, so the weather is to be expected. It’s raining. It’s not. It’s pouring. It’s not. The sun’s shining. It’s definitely not. It doesn’t matter.
As the road climbs and clings to the side of the valley it dips and dives out of the cloud. There’s nothing to see, and in the blink of an eye everything’s there in an outrageous vista, painted in all kinds of autumnal oranges and watercolour greys. Whatever the weather, the view sits on a sliding scale from good to great to breathtaking.
And through the middle of that flows one of the world’s finest ribbons on Tarmac. Off the line it twists and turns. It’s technical as it taunts and tempts drivers to go just a fraction deeper, a wee touch harder at the apex. Then it adds the third dimension with a bump or an unseen compression. On one side, there’s a wall. On the other, a fog-filled void.
Stunning, storied and beautiful, Moll’s Gap is a stage which focuses the mind. As you climb towards the Gap itself, the road opens out. You feel you can breathe again, the car can run a foot or two wider. But with that space comes more speed. There’s no rest to be found here.
Through a longish left and the next few corners look even more familiar, with good reason. It’s the junction. That place.
The N71 goes around to left, nibble the verge on the right before slicing through the apex, balancing the slide on the throttle. Go too early and you’ll bury your car in the café steps, get it right and you’ll be a YouTube hero, a doyen of the drift.
Did I mention the café? I’m something of a connoisseur of cake – but the mocha slice, lemon drizzle and mince pie is off the charts. I managed all three. With a side order of apple crumble to go.
Double world champions Kalle Rovanperä and Jonne Halttunen haven’t tried any of them yet. But they’re interested. They’re tempted. I can tell. At the moment, all they’re seeing at Moll’s Gap is a junction right. They need to look harder.
And yes, I did say right. For the first time in five years, the stage is heading off the N71 bound for the Ballaghbeama stage which will follow on Saturday morning.
Catching up with Rovanperä after his second run through, he can’t hide his grin. So he’s not even going to try.
“This is a really nice one,” he told DirtFish. “If it’s raining then it’s not easy to commit on the first time through, you don’t know where are the slippery places and where is the standing water.”
Talking of water, a boat might have been more useful than his 380bhp Toyota Starlet at his Thursday test.
“It wasn’t a road, it was a river,” he laughed. “The weather was quite s****y to be honest. There was so much rain we couldn’t realty drive properly.”
Remembering the reason he’s here, the smile’s back.
“It doesn’t matter if we missed the test, we’re here to have fun.”
And cake. Don’t forget the cake.